I. Love. The. Library.

I. Love. The. Library.

Walking through the bookshelves, I try to comprehend how it's possible that I can take ANY book and read it. For free. No doubt I was exposed to the concept as a small child - but after becoming a grown up and having a mortgage payment and buy food, etc. - rediscovering something that is truly free makes me giddy. 

This past trip to the library was a lot like when I fill my plate at Thanksgiving. I get excited and take way too much.  Although finishing three novels in three weeks is impossible (for me), I always find a way to finish a heaping plate of food.  Out of the three I took home, I finished one: The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling.  Yes - the author of the Harry Potter series.

The Casual Vacancy, at first, seems like only a simple story of a small town.  An upstanding citizen on the town's council dies, and the events surrounding the filling of his seat are contained in Rowling's tale. The pages include the expected small-town gossip and petty rivalries, but it also explores profound themes of family, socio-economic divides and misunderstandings.   

After I began the book, I was unsure whether I would be entertained by the story line.  My brain needed to shift gears from the ever-changing stories of The Hunger Games, Divergent, and Game of Thrones to something slightly slower.  Although the pace is slower, Rowling keeps you reading as she presents the imperfect, interesting inhabitants of Pagford. Whether one identifies with or dislikes them - one thing is true - Rowling definitely knows how to create full, complex characters.  

The brief synopsis of The Casual Vacancy may or may not pull a reader in, but once engulfed in the lives of J.K. Rowling's characters - it's impossible to not see them through until the end. 

My next read is A Discovery of Witches, by Debora Harkness. This book is the beginning to another trilogy released over two years ago...and is now being turned into a movie. So far, I'm loving it. 

Have a great Labor Day Weekend!

Zombie

Vacationing with a 4 month old requires a lot of preparation and extra effort, but the experiences and memories are worth it - or so I imagine. The sleep deprivation I experienced during our mini vacations has exacerbated this zombie-like state in which I function. So - I am not remembering anything too vividly these days. Thank goodness for iPhone cameras! 

                          

Sleep deprivation has also made me somewhat delusional. Some examples:

I have three huge novels checked out from the library.

I initiated the purchase of a jogging stroller. 

I downloaded a couch to 5k app for my phone. 

I've been looking up "virgin diet" recipes (no gluten, dairy, etc...).

I will be teaching 5-6 year old children ballet and tap and 10 year old kids jazz and hip hop (yes, hip hop) on a weekly basis starting in two weeks. 

I just inquired about a masters program in health informatics.

I am a working mom. 

Maybe I am so sleep deprived that I'm partially dreaming/sleep walking. That is the only rationale I can think of to explain this behavior.

I was actually using the stove in the following picture - quinoa patties and sauteed zucchini. Who am I? 

 

                                 

Constants

Now that I'm a mother, every day brings new experiences. My growing baby girl does something new and is a different baby every week!  Amidst all this change, there are two constants - worry and lack of sleep. These "constants" didn't come as a shock.  Nine months of pregnancy prepared me quite well - I was always up during the night and during the day my mind was always on little B. 

What I was not prepared for was the heartache I would feel when watching the news, or hearing about a sick child. My heart drops and I feel sick.  I've always been tender-hearted, but having a baby took me to a whole other level!  My eyes see the world differently now - I'm intensely heartbroken over the evil and hurt in the world but overjoyed by how blessed my family is.  

On a happier note, B is now rolling from tummy to back and back to tummy easily and playing like crazy! This new mobility has baby B rolling on her tummy to sleep.  This scares me, but she has now slept through the night two nights in a row.  Ah!  More worry and lack of sleep...this face is so worth it all:    

..it's who you're with...

My mom used to have a magnet on the refrigerator that said, "It takes a village to raise a child."  When I was much younger, I remember asking her what that meant. The true meaning - even after the explanation - wasn't fully clear until I had baby B. 

B was baptized this past Sunday and a celebration followed with family and friends.  My family - aunts, cousins, everyone - has always been there for me while growing up. Sunday, after seeing everyone show up for her, I felt such joy knowing that my daughter will be blessed and surrounded by such loving family and friends. 

Thank goodness for this little village! She will never find herself without great food, laughter, and little kid friends to play with!  Not to mention a baby best friend with a birthday two days away from her own:

                                 

Such cuteness! I am so excited to see these two grow up side by side. 

                             

Please notice the huge panda bear in the background....

Life and happiness, to me, is not about where I am, it's about who I'm with!  I'm pretty sure I'd live in Siberia or the desert just to be close to the ones I love, the ones who love me and my little family. 

My heart

Oh, what a beautiful sleeper. You have my heart, little girl. 

In this busy life we're living, I have to pause and think about how blessed I am.  Your dad and I are having you baptized this Sunday - what does this mean for you and for me? 

I believe you are a miracle, God's creation.  He has known you always, long before I ever dreamt of you.  He and I love you unconditionally. 

No one can take this love away. 

Your baptism will be my promise to you and to God - to lead you and show you Christ's love.  I am not perfect and will never be, but I will pray for you, teach you, and guide you.  My deepest prayer is that you will be able to truly understand how Christ loves and to share this love with all others around you.  Love without prejudice.  

Your arrival has been the best lesson on loving like Jesus.  I pray, despite my flaws, that I can show you this love everyday - as I love you, your father, and those around us.  Love you, baby B.  

book review - first attempt...

Reading is one of my passions. Nothing can entertain and captivate me like a great book, which is why I find it hard to believe that I've just finished my first book in almost a year!  Thankfully, a mini vacation and thoughtful gift from my husband ended this long hiatus from reading for (strictly) pleasure.  Knowing my love for sci-fi/fantasy and a book series, my husband confidently handed me Divergent by Veronica Roth.

The first in a series of three, Divergent is a dystopian novel set in and around Chicago in the future.  This dystopian Chicago society is divided up into five factions - not based on race or wealth or religious beliefs - but on the virtue that is valued above all others:  Abnegation (the selfless), Candor (the honest), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent).  At sixteen, citizens have to decide which faction they want to devote the rest of their life.  The permanence of this decision is exacerbated by the possibility that they may never see their families again.    

The story follows Beatrice Prior, a sixteen year old girl, as she makes this decision.  As her journey begins, readers witness a struggle between loyalty to family and embracing one's calling.  Beatrice also learns that she is unique - but will her discovery lead to danger and uncertainty?

Divergent kept me turning the page from the start - I was immersed immediately in this foreign time and society and intrigued by where the action takes place - Chicago.  Familiar landmarks are mentioned often,  enhancing the setting Roth creates.  Beatrice's decision and what follows unfolds quickly and smoothly.  Her naiveté is appropriate for a sixteen year old, and I had to remind myself of the heroine's age every time I felt the desire to smack her.  She eventually discovers what true bravery requires and, as her situation becomes increasingly precarious, displays almost unbelievable strength.

I was certainly entertained by Divergent.  It's similarity to The Hunger Games series is obvious, but doesn't detract from the novel.  The fast pace characteristic in teen and young adult novels is definitely present here, and occasionally Beatrice's circumstances work out rather too perfectly.  Roth makes up for this with dramatic twists and surprises as Beatrice's story plays out.  

I really enjoyed reading Divergent and I am looking forward to reading the second book in the series, Insurgent.  Also, I am happy to find that Allegiance, the third book, comes out in October this year!

I hope to share my experience with another book soon :)

Experiment

Just recently, a nickname resurfaced from my early childhood.  "Mamma Mia, pizzeria, daddy has diarrhea" was often chanted in my direction.  Although I don't recall being too fond of having my name rhymed with diarrhea, after 24 hours of labor and giving birth to the most beautiful baby girl, I am proud to - once again - be called, "Mamma Mia!"  

I am a first-time-mother of a 15 week old baby girl who has stolen my heart and changed it for the better.  Being a mom is making me stronger and more patient. Despite constantly wondering if I am doing "this and that" right and worrying - being a mom is boosting my confidence.  I made it through pregnancy, labor and over 3 months of taking care of a tiny human....and I still have a happy, healthy baby!         

Four weeks ago, I also went back to work full-time as an ICU nurse. The ICU is a world full of protocols, orders, numbers and time limits.  Unless you take into account the imaginative ways nurses try to contain body fluids, this sort of job leaves little room for creativity.  It does, however, provide a lot of opportunities for stress!  

With my new found "mommy confidence" I plan on exploring my creative side as an outlet for stress.  I've decided to experiment with this blogging business and hope to share my experiences as a mom, a new dance teacher, a nurse, and even try to review books! 

Enjoy :)